Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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