Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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