is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
