i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize