Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
