he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
