i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
