Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize