Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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