I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
