In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize