There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
