wat bout pragnant strippers??
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We need to rekindle our bromance
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
