it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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