What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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