my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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