i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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