No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
