Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
as a side note pls kill me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize