at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
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It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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