grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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