I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
