I must be too annoying 4 u.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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