please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
