1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Someone signed my nipple.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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