Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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