He is an equal opportunity slut.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
