i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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