party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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