I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
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As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
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She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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