Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
this will be a night to untag.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
