he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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