Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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