They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we should paint friendship bongs
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