so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
