It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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