his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
