bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
