Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
