just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
