dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
