Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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