what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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