Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
