I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
