it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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