Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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