tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize