I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
