Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
