a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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