Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
