there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
