Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
