You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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