Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
