Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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