In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
