I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
