oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize