you guys were way drunker than both of me
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
