You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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