Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
