I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
