You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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