Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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